title here.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

something's screaming in my head "no you shouldnt. no you cannot. no you shouldnt! are you just gonna forgive him like that? no you dont need him. remember he's a bastard." but yet another voice is saying "he said sorrry, you know he's really sorry. are you gonna let everything go down the drain? why must you be so hot-headed and stubborn. talk to him again, even if it's just as friends. and it wasnt just merely his fault, it was yours too"

im so tempted to call you back and message you back. but i just canttttt. i want to, but i cant. i was in the car when you called, next to my mom but i just let the phone ring and ring. my mom was like "who's that. why you dont want to pick up" and my answer was "nothing. nobody important." i want you to mean nothing to me, i want you to be unimportant and insignificant in my life. i want to just forget, and pretend you're non-existant. i still feel the bitterness in me.

someone just shoot me. someone please remind me constantly never to talk to him ever again. i told you i never ever wish to see you nor talk to you ever again. but your message just made me stop, and think. you do still care for me afterall. so why were you such a prickkkkkk.

i dont really know how you feel right now, and i doubt you'll ever read everything im writing here. but again i'll say im sorry. it takes two hands to clap. maybe one day i'll wake up and regret not answering your call nor msging you back. maybe i'll regret how stubborn and childish i am right now. maybe i'll regret even kicking a big fuss out of nothing. but right now, i just regret even knowing you.

i dont even know why im emoing so much and finding it so difficult when it wasn't even love. it wasnt that deep. and besides, a timespan of only 3 mths plus. compared to a one year and 5 months relationship. this should pale in comparison, and this should be insignificant. but it all feels the same. somehow.

i love this song. and i guess it describes a lil how i feel. but not that deep and emo. if you get what i mean. okay goodnight.

Had a drive
Driven by your love
But when you messed around
I lost the drive I found
Thought you needed
Needed someone true
But you changed your mind
Or had I failed you?

Wish you'd been Careful with my heart
But you tore it apart
And broke an angel's heart
The kiss was true
Has to end somehow

It's hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It's sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don't know (I don't know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

You played me on
Played me like a clown
But I feel for you
Eventhough I'm down
My heart is heavy
Heavy like a rock
But I am so amused
You're still in my thoughts

It's hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It's sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don't know (I don't know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

This time its done
It'll never feel the same
But we had some good times
Guess it's sad just the same
I guess the truth
Doesn't matter somehow

blogged at 10:16 AM